Do you have young children? Do you take them to church?
Have you ever had that sinking feeling that, though they are YOUR children, you cannot control them, and you need help?
You haven't? Okay, come back and read tomorrow's post, but not this one.
The morning started with a small battle in the bathroom with Caroline. You see, she likes to go to the bathroom in other bathrooms. A little variety. (Grocery shopping at Target? Let's go to the bathroom! At a restaurant? Let's go to the bathroom!) So I wanted her to try to go to the bathroom at home before we left for church, so that we wouldn't make the inevitable bathroom trip in the middle of the service. She didn't want to try. I sent her in to the bathroom anyway. When I went to check on her, I found her with a SOAKING wet baby wipe ... and I do not want to know how that thing got so wet. Preemptive bathroom trip: fail.
We get to church, and all is going well. Caroline announces that she has to poop. I leave Will with Lucy's godmother Demetra, and take the two girls to the bathroom. So far, so good.
We go back into church. The kids are doing relatively well, though I'm a bit flustered, since I prefer to have Bob with me, helping keep the kids in line. You know what they say about going from two kids to three (or more)? No more man-to-man; now it's zone defense. So true.
A couple minutes later, Caroline tells me she needs to pee. Are you serious? Yes, she is. So this time, I leave Will in his car seat, Lucy with Demetra, and Caroline & I go to the bathroom. When we get back, they're reading the Gospel already. And then I look down and see that while Caroline did wash her hands, she failed to wash off any of the soap on the BACK of her hands. So back to the bathroom we go.
By the time we get back this time, Lindsey's holding Will, Demetra still has Lucy, and I'd like to actually participate in the service. Caroline starts asking me if she can go see Michelle, her godmother (um, no. A little too much activity from our family this morning. No more trips across the church.). When it's time for Communion, Caroline ends up going with Brian, her godfather. Lucy's with Demetra. Will's with Laura, his godmother. I go up for Communion, blessedly by myself.
And I feel like a loser. This morning felt like musical children.
The kids really weren't misbehaving or acting up; they were just needing different things from me at the same time (the nerve of them!), and I only have two hands. At home, I can prioritize, and if someone melts, so be it. But in church, the stakes are higher. I really do not want my family to be a distraction for anyone from the service. So demands need to be dealt with right away, before any meltdowns.
I'm incredibly grateful for my church family. I might have just left in the middle of the service, if people who love us and our children hadn't stepped in to help me.
So thank you.
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
No Way. (Installment Three)
If you haven't read installment two yet, read it here.
So Lindsey had told me that I could be pretty flexible with when I opened envelopes 1 and 2, but that I really should open envelope #3 at 2:30. Goodness. That implied that SOMETHING was scheduled, but I sure didn't know what. A friend or two had suggested that it might be a massage, but I'm just not the massage type. I mean, I don't wear make-up (as in, almost never, as in, last time I wore lipstick, Caroline said with evident concern, "Momma, what's on your lips?!"), I don't blow-dry my hair, I don't paint my nails, and I don't get pampered.
Well, until yesterday.
Yep, envelope #3 was a one-hour Swedish massage scheduled for 3pm yesterday, with Sean, at a yoga & wellness spa. Also downtown. Also on Main Street. (Everything was on Main Street! Which just goes to show you that I live in a cool place with a downtown that's really enjoyable.) Well, you might say that I was a bit nervous. I googled "Swedish massage" to get an idea for what I might expect. And that really didn't do anything to make me less nervous. Hmm. I really should have shaved my legs! And I just wasn't prepared for this! Ack!
Anyway, I got there and met Sean and really appreciated that he talked me through my options. Full body massage? Back? Neck? Shoulders? Arms? Etc. I asked for back, neck, and shoulders.
We headed upstairs, he left so I could get undressed, and then I got up on the table, under the blanket. When he came in, he started to arrange the sheet over me ... when he realized I was ON TOP of the sheet. Oops. Embarrassing. He left, I got under the sheet, we tried again. Okay. Phew.
My goodness. Have you ever had a Swedish massage? No? Well, you should. It was just lovely. I got to choose oil vs. lotion, what scent of oil (or unscented). The room was very dark, peaceful, some candles burning (though I suspect they were those fake electric ones), some music playing. He said, "It seems you carry most of your tension in the left side of your back, and your left shoulder." Well, yes. Let's see here. My left shoulder and back are responsible for:
purse
diaper bag
3 1/2-year-old
2-year-old
6-month-old
I can see how I could carry some tension there. (And, to clarify, I don't pile all three kids on my left hip at the same time. But I almost never carry any of the above on my right side.)
Well, he worked that tension out until I felt positively floppy. Then he left so I could get dressed. Well, I was very relaxed, feeling almost dreamy. And I forgot there was a small step-down in the room. So all of a sudden, there was a very big thud. Me falling down. And my masseuse called, "Are you okay?" Of course, everything was fine except my pride. You know, my name may mean "full of grace", but I'm anything but graceful. I'm always running into things, bruising myself, moving too quickly and forgetting that furniture/doorways/walls are where they've always been. (See: the Bruise.)
Anyway, I picked myself up, and attempted to get dressed in the mostly-dark. That's easier done when you're in your own room, and not positively mushy from relaxation. And I was terrified that I wouldn't be dressed when he came back. Thankfully, he called out, "Are you decent?" before coming back in. I was.
He showed me some stretches I could do to help my back, and then he tried to get me to consider coming back. Well, twist my arm! Well, no, he probably wouldn't twist it, would he? But he might do some deep-tissue massage on it... Anyway, I am sad to say I did not schedule another massage. Or should I say, I have not scheduled my next massage ... yet. I'd really love to go back.
I could get used to this.
By the way, I never thought I would hear the question "Are your jeans stretchy?" without feeling like the question was TOTALLY inappropriate. Funny how it wasn't.
Anyway, I still had 45 minutes of freedom before 5:00, so I went to the library to return a dreadfully overdue book (the one with the knitting pattern for the sweater I started lo these many years ago) and had the brilliant idea to photocopy the pages I need. Then I browsed the entire magazine section, as well as the DVD section, and the kids' section. Can you tell I was enjoying my day off? No deep thought allowed.
I am amazed how I spent my entire day in the presence of other people, and yet it was just the perfect amount of solitude for me. No unwanted conversation. No questions from children who like to have every minute of the day narrated for them ... and in the absence of my narration, who narrate it themselves. (Ahem, Caroline.)
And even though there was a scheduled appointment, and a scheduled end-time, the day felt so free. For the first couple hours, it was all I could do to keep from crying. This was just the nicest thing. I can't even describe it. Though goodness knows, I've used a lot of words trying.
I didn't worry for a minute about my children who know and trust Lindsey and who just adore Vanessa.
It was a day I won't forget. Lindsey, thank you so much!
So Lindsey had told me that I could be pretty flexible with when I opened envelopes 1 and 2, but that I really should open envelope #3 at 2:30. Goodness. That implied that SOMETHING was scheduled, but I sure didn't know what. A friend or two had suggested that it might be a massage, but I'm just not the massage type. I mean, I don't wear make-up (as in, almost never, as in, last time I wore lipstick, Caroline said with evident concern, "Momma, what's on your lips?!"), I don't blow-dry my hair, I don't paint my nails, and I don't get pampered.
Well, until yesterday.
Yep, envelope #3 was a one-hour Swedish massage scheduled for 3pm yesterday, with Sean, at a yoga & wellness spa. Also downtown. Also on Main Street. (Everything was on Main Street! Which just goes to show you that I live in a cool place with a downtown that's really enjoyable.) Well, you might say that I was a bit nervous. I googled "Swedish massage" to get an idea for what I might expect. And that really didn't do anything to make me less nervous. Hmm. I really should have shaved my legs! And I just wasn't prepared for this! Ack!
Anyway, I got there and met Sean and really appreciated that he talked me through my options. Full body massage? Back? Neck? Shoulders? Arms? Etc. I asked for back, neck, and shoulders.
We headed upstairs, he left so I could get undressed, and then I got up on the table, under the blanket. When he came in, he started to arrange the sheet over me ... when he realized I was ON TOP of the sheet. Oops. Embarrassing. He left, I got under the sheet, we tried again. Okay. Phew.
My goodness. Have you ever had a Swedish massage? No? Well, you should. It was just lovely. I got to choose oil vs. lotion, what scent of oil (or unscented). The room was very dark, peaceful, some candles burning (though I suspect they were those fake electric ones), some music playing. He said, "It seems you carry most of your tension in the left side of your back, and your left shoulder." Well, yes. Let's see here. My left shoulder and back are responsible for:
purse
diaper bag
3 1/2-year-old
2-year-old
6-month-old
I can see how I could carry some tension there. (And, to clarify, I don't pile all three kids on my left hip at the same time. But I almost never carry any of the above on my right side.)
Well, he worked that tension out until I felt positively floppy. Then he left so I could get dressed. Well, I was very relaxed, feeling almost dreamy. And I forgot there was a small step-down in the room. So all of a sudden, there was a very big thud. Me falling down. And my masseuse called, "Are you okay?" Of course, everything was fine except my pride. You know, my name may mean "full of grace", but I'm anything but graceful. I'm always running into things, bruising myself, moving too quickly and forgetting that furniture/doorways/walls are where they've always been. (See: the Bruise.)
Anyway, I picked myself up, and attempted to get dressed in the mostly-dark. That's easier done when you're in your own room, and not positively mushy from relaxation. And I was terrified that I wouldn't be dressed when he came back. Thankfully, he called out, "Are you decent?" before coming back in. I was.
He showed me some stretches I could do to help my back, and then he tried to get me to consider coming back. Well, twist my arm! Well, no, he probably wouldn't twist it, would he? But he might do some deep-tissue massage on it... Anyway, I am sad to say I did not schedule another massage. Or should I say, I have not scheduled my next massage ... yet. I'd really love to go back.
I could get used to this.
By the way, I never thought I would hear the question "Are your jeans stretchy?" without feeling like the question was TOTALLY inappropriate. Funny how it wasn't.
Anyway, I still had 45 minutes of freedom before 5:00, so I went to the library to return a dreadfully overdue book (the one with the knitting pattern for the sweater I started lo these many years ago) and had the brilliant idea to photocopy the pages I need. Then I browsed the entire magazine section, as well as the DVD section, and the kids' section. Can you tell I was enjoying my day off? No deep thought allowed.
I am amazed how I spent my entire day in the presence of other people, and yet it was just the perfect amount of solitude for me. No unwanted conversation. No questions from children who like to have every minute of the day narrated for them ... and in the absence of my narration, who narrate it themselves. (Ahem, Caroline.)
And even though there was a scheduled appointment, and a scheduled end-time, the day felt so free. For the first couple hours, it was all I could do to keep from crying. This was just the nicest thing. I can't even describe it. Though goodness knows, I've used a lot of words trying.
I didn't worry for a minute about my children who know and trust Lindsey and who just adore Vanessa.
It was a day I won't forget. Lindsey, thank you so much!
No way. (Installment Two)
If you haven't read installment one yet, read it here.
So. I opened envelope #2 and found a gift certificate for "Royal Lunch Treatment" at a new local vegetarian restaurant downtown. I called Bobbi back and said, "Let's go to __________ restaurant!" since we'd been vague about where to go. I met her at her new office (we used to work together, back when I was actively selling real estate ... and the office has moved since I left), and she gave me the tour, and then we headed out to lunch. It was a cold day. Her CR-V has seat-warmers. Very pleasant.
We got to the restaurant, and it was packed with mothers and small children. Bobbi wondered at first if they were all my friends, but I'd never seen any of them before. We were seated at a high table but asked if we could move, since there was no place to put our coats, purses, etc. They moved us, and then when they saw my gift certificate, they said, oh, so YOU'RE the lucky one. Wait! We had a table set up for you! And they brought over a candle for me. And a sticker with flowers. :)
Bobbi and I ended up ordering the same thing: a grilled cheese sandwich (homemade cheese on Great Harvest bread) with a cup of fajita soup. It was really good ... and perfect fare for a cold day. I really enjoyed it. The restaurant is very healthy, totally (or almost totally?) local, and pretty alternative. Lots of vegan options that sounded foreign or out there to me, but also some things that sounded pretty good. It was a cozy spot, and such a nice treat. (And, I still have money left on this gift certificate ... as I do at coffee shop ... so I'll be back. The gift keeps giving.)
We headed back to the office where I got to see some more of my old co-workers ... and then I opened envelope #3.
Oh. My. Gosh.
(More coming soon.)
So. I opened envelope #2 and found a gift certificate for "Royal Lunch Treatment" at a new local vegetarian restaurant downtown. I called Bobbi back and said, "Let's go to __________ restaurant!" since we'd been vague about where to go. I met her at her new office (we used to work together, back when I was actively selling real estate ... and the office has moved since I left), and she gave me the tour, and then we headed out to lunch. It was a cold day. Her CR-V has seat-warmers. Very pleasant.
We got to the restaurant, and it was packed with mothers and small children. Bobbi wondered at first if they were all my friends, but I'd never seen any of them before. We were seated at a high table but asked if we could move, since there was no place to put our coats, purses, etc. They moved us, and then when they saw my gift certificate, they said, oh, so YOU'RE the lucky one. Wait! We had a table set up for you! And they brought over a candle for me. And a sticker with flowers. :)
Bobbi and I ended up ordering the same thing: a grilled cheese sandwich (homemade cheese on Great Harvest bread) with a cup of fajita soup. It was really good ... and perfect fare for a cold day. I really enjoyed it. The restaurant is very healthy, totally (or almost totally?) local, and pretty alternative. Lots of vegan options that sounded foreign or out there to me, but also some things that sounded pretty good. It was a cozy spot, and such a nice treat. (And, I still have money left on this gift certificate ... as I do at coffee shop ... so I'll be back. The gift keeps giving.)
We headed back to the office where I got to see some more of my old co-workers ... and then I opened envelope #3.
Oh. My. Gosh.
(More coming soon.)
No way. (Installment One)
Do you remember how just the other day, I was talking about how low I was feeling? Running on fumes? Blue?
Well, my goodness. My friend Lindsey took it upon herself to give me a day off from the laundry, the cooking, the kids, etc. Mostly the kids, though.
On Tuesday night, she sent me a message on Facebook, warning me to be expecting a visitor around 10am. I said, "Who? You?" (except without capitalization). She was very vague about it, telling me not to worry about it, but saying she was tempted to say St. Nicholas was coming over. (In a nutshell, St. Nicholas is known for his secret gift-giving.) This didn't make any sense to me until the end of the day yesterday.
Anyway, yesterday morning, I was trying not to think too much about my "visitor" ... remembering that she'd said I didn't need to worry about it. And then I saw my friend (and our beloved babysitter) Vanessa pull up outside. And I remembered writing on Facebook about how I needed a vacation. I thought, aha, Lindsey has planned for me to have a babysitter for two hours or so! Nice! I can run a couple errands that I never feel like running when I have three kids in tow (which is ALWAYS).
When Vanessa came in, she asked me if I knew what was going on. I said, "Nope!" We chatted for a couple minutes, and then she told me that Lindsey was coming over soon with some things for me, and said, "Why don't you go take a shower?" I said, "Am I going somewhere?" And Vanessa said, "Yes." So I raced upstairs to take a shower, and when I was all dressed, I discovered that Lindsey was downstairs, too (grinning to beat the band) (and I have no idea where that phrase comes from). She showed me three envelopes, each with a time written on them, and told me to open the envelopes at the specified time -- and not to come home before 5. The 10:15 envelope contained a gift certificate to my favorite local coffee shop.
So I fluttered around the house, getting ready to go (very inefficiently, because that's how I operate), grabbing a couple books, my knitting, my purse, (and yes, my Medela pump, because Will eats every three hours-ish, and even though there's plenty of milk in the freezer for him, I would be pretty darn uncomfortable to go that long without feeding him), and my phone.
I love that little coffee shop. I got a spicy hot chocolate (with cayenne pepper!), and when Kim asked me if I wanted any toppings, I said, "Everything you've got!" I sat down with my books and my knitting and had a grand old time. I'm knitting this sweater I started in 2004 or 2005, and it's a very complicated pattern, and I'd made a mistake somewhere but hadn't had an uninterrupted minute to sit down and try to figure out my mistake ... so I couldn't do any knitting. BUT I had the time yesterday to figure it out, get everything straightened out, and just enjoy the knitting. I sat facing a window, so I got some lovely southern sunlight ... and a good seat for the pick-up line I witnessed. Or so I thought.
[Nursing break. Typing one-handed is not my thing.]
This guy struck up a rather stupid (I thought) conversation with the woman at the next table. Then she responded with interest, and he totally played it off like he wasn't interested. Hmm. I couldn't decide if that's just the way guys work, or if he really wasn't interested in her, and really was just interested in the size of her Macbook. (His was newer and faster, and why would he care?)
Anyway, I called my friend Bobbi to see if she wanted to meet up for lunch, since I haven't seen her in months and months (like 9 months maybe?). And then I remembered envelope #2.
Key some suspenseful music here.
Installment 2 coming soon.
Well, my goodness. My friend Lindsey took it upon herself to give me a day off from the laundry, the cooking, the kids, etc. Mostly the kids, though.
On Tuesday night, she sent me a message on Facebook, warning me to be expecting a visitor around 10am. I said, "Who? You?" (except without capitalization). She was very vague about it, telling me not to worry about it, but saying she was tempted to say St. Nicholas was coming over. (In a nutshell, St. Nicholas is known for his secret gift-giving.) This didn't make any sense to me until the end of the day yesterday.
Anyway, yesterday morning, I was trying not to think too much about my "visitor" ... remembering that she'd said I didn't need to worry about it. And then I saw my friend (and our beloved babysitter) Vanessa pull up outside. And I remembered writing on Facebook about how I needed a vacation. I thought, aha, Lindsey has planned for me to have a babysitter for two hours or so! Nice! I can run a couple errands that I never feel like running when I have three kids in tow (which is ALWAYS).
When Vanessa came in, she asked me if I knew what was going on. I said, "Nope!" We chatted for a couple minutes, and then she told me that Lindsey was coming over soon with some things for me, and said, "Why don't you go take a shower?" I said, "Am I going somewhere?" And Vanessa said, "Yes." So I raced upstairs to take a shower, and when I was all dressed, I discovered that Lindsey was downstairs, too (grinning to beat the band) (and I have no idea where that phrase comes from). She showed me three envelopes, each with a time written on them, and told me to open the envelopes at the specified time -- and not to come home before 5. The 10:15 envelope contained a gift certificate to my favorite local coffee shop.
So I fluttered around the house, getting ready to go (very inefficiently, because that's how I operate), grabbing a couple books, my knitting, my purse, (and yes, my Medela pump, because Will eats every three hours-ish, and even though there's plenty of milk in the freezer for him, I would be pretty darn uncomfortable to go that long without feeding him), and my phone.
I love that little coffee shop. I got a spicy hot chocolate (with cayenne pepper!), and when Kim asked me if I wanted any toppings, I said, "Everything you've got!" I sat down with my books and my knitting and had a grand old time. I'm knitting this sweater I started in 2004 or 2005, and it's a very complicated pattern, and I'd made a mistake somewhere but hadn't had an uninterrupted minute to sit down and try to figure out my mistake ... so I couldn't do any knitting. BUT I had the time yesterday to figure it out, get everything straightened out, and just enjoy the knitting. I sat facing a window, so I got some lovely southern sunlight ... and a good seat for the pick-up line I witnessed. Or so I thought.
[Nursing break. Typing one-handed is not my thing.]
This guy struck up a rather stupid (I thought) conversation with the woman at the next table. Then she responded with interest, and he totally played it off like he wasn't interested. Hmm. I couldn't decide if that's just the way guys work, or if he really wasn't interested in her, and really was just interested in the size of her Macbook. (His was newer and faster, and why would he care?)
Anyway, I called my friend Bobbi to see if she wanted to meet up for lunch, since I haven't seen her in months and months (like 9 months maybe?). And then I remembered envelope #2.
Key some suspenseful music here.
Installment 2 coming soon.
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